Just a Joke
by Lil Lupin
Summary: MWPP. What happened the night James saved Snape? This has been done before, but none of you have read my version, have you? ah ha! It's really good! Promise!


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, okay? It all belongs to the wonderful JKR.  
  
A/N: Me again! This is set in Marauder era. I know this has been done many times before, but none of you have read my version, have you? Ah ha! Please review - I loved writing this story!  
  
  
  
  
  
"Prongs? I thought Promfrey wouldn't let you out of the hospital wing until the weekend?" Remus Lupin frowned as his friend sat down opposite him, grinning.  
  
"Well, you know, I won her round with my irresistible charm." James Potter leant back in his seat. "Where're Padfoot and Wormtail?"  
  
"Gone to raid the kitchens again, I expect." Remus raised his eyebrows. "You know those two. Listen, are you sure you should be out of the hospital wing? Not that I'm not happy, but you took a pretty bad fall in the Quidditch match."  
  
"It was nothing." James waved off Remus' concern. "And anyway, I caught the Snitch first, didn't I?"  
  
"Yes, but falling forty feet from a broomstick is not 'nothing', Prongs. You were out cold until a few days ago."  
  
James shrugged. "Promfrey said that as long as I 'take it easy', I can come back to school early."  
  
"James, I don't know if you've checked the calendar recently, but-"  
  
Remus was cut off as Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew came into the common room, loaded down with plates filled with food. Sirius almost dropped his load when he saw who Remus was talking to.  
  
"Prongs! You're here early! I didn't think Promfrey was going to let you out of that prison until Saturday! This is brilliant! Now we really have got an excuse to party!"  
  
James laughed. "Promfrey said I have to take things easy." He snorted. "As if that's ever going to happen. Why were you going to have a party anyway?"  
  
"Well, we were trying to make Moony feel better, because-" Sirius stopped, and looked at Remus. "Uh-oh."  
  
"What?" James asked.  
  
Remus nodded. "Uh-oh is right. I was just about to tell him when you two arrived."  
  
"What were you about to tell me?"  
  
"Do you reckon we should still do it?" Peter asked. "I mean, Prongs only just got out of the Hospital Wing."  
  
"What?" said James again feeling frustrated.  
  
"Who's going to remind him?" Peter said, looking round at the small group.  
  
"I will," Sirius volunteered. He turned back to James. "Prongs, it's Thursday night. We have less than three hours before the full moon comes up, and less than four before we have to go too."  
  
"So?" said James, confused. "We sorted out our plans over three weeks ago. You know that."  
  
Remus took over. "You know what risks you three take every month, James. And you're always exhausted in the morning, but you can't go to the hospital wing like I do."  
  
"So?" James said again. Then his expression cleared. "Oh! You three think I shouldn't be there this month because Promfrey told me to take it easy."  
  
"Yes!" The other three nodded enthusiastically.  
  
"But Padfoot and Wormtail will still be there?" James voice sounded calm.  
  
"Yes." Remus could see all the danger signs. Sirius, if he were angry, would shout down the whole common room. James would stay calm. Dangerously calm. The only time Remus had ever seen James really lose his temper was with Sirius. But, as they say, you aren't friends until you've fought. Well, that had turned really nasty.  
  
"Well, thanks for your confidence in me, you three." James stood up.  
  
"Prongs, don't be stupid. We just thought-"  
  
"To be quite honest, Sirius, I don't care what you thought. It was only forty feet from a broomstick!" James turned his back on the other Marauders and made his way up the boys' staircase.  
  
Remus sighed. "Well, that went well."  
  
* * *  
  
Sirius made his way back from the library slowly. James' reaction hadn't been unexpected, but Sirius still felt they shouldn't have told him that he shouldn't go. It was stupid, really. They had all known that James was going to come no matter what they said. But now, what Sirius really needed to do was to cheer his best friend up. And fast - Remus had already left, and the three remaining had less than an hour before they left to join him.  
  
Then, just to top off Sirius' mood, Snape came around the corner. He smirked at the sight of Sirius walking by himself.  
  
"Black," he said smoothly. "I've just seen something very interesting."  
  
"Really?" Sirius said, uninterested. He was still trying to think how he could cheer up James.  
  
"Yes, Black. It was your friend Lupin walking across the grounds with Madam Promfrey."  
  
Sirius' heart skipped a beat. Snape had seen Remus. But, hang on; he doesn't know why Remus was with Promfrey yet, he thought. "So?"  
  
"I want to know where he was going."  
  
The idea hit Sirius like a ton of bricks. James needed cheering up; Snape wanted to know where Remus was going. Always had, the slimy git. So why not kill two birds with one stone? James would, no doubt, find it as highly amusing as Sirius to see Snape trying to find out where Remus had gone. Sirius smirked.  
  
"Well, Snapey, maybe I can help you."  
  
Snape's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why would you help me, Black?"  
  
"I thought you wanted to know?" Sirius leant in to whisper. "Well, you know the Whomping Willow? If you get a long stick and press the knot in about half an hour.."  
  
* * *  
  
"Prongs, I have, officially, just organised the best prank we have ever done!"  
  
James looked up as Sirius burst into the dormitory. He sighed.  
  
"Look, Padfoot, just leave me alone for a bit, will you?" he said. "I'm not really in the mood for pranking right now."  
  
"I think that fall in the Quidditch match did something to your head, Prongs," Sirius said, sitting on his bed. "I'm being serious. This prank is brilliant."  
  
"Okay, come on, let's here it."  
  
"Well, you know Snape's always trying to find out where we all disappear every month?"  
  
"Yes," James said slowly.  
  
"Well, he just saw Moony cross the grounds with Promfrey," Sirius explained. "And since he's such a nosy git, I told him to go and press the knot on the Whomping Willow, and he'd find out where Moony was."  
  
James' face went white. "Please tell me you're joking, Sirius."  
  
"No, of course I'm not. This is going to be so funny!" Sirius laughed.  
  
James jumped up from his bed. "How could you be so stupid? You know the risks, Sirius - Remus could bite Snape, or, worse, kill him! Think how Remus would feel then! He'd never forgive himself, and you'll be suspended!"  
  
Sirius went pale. "Oh God, I'm so sorry."  
  
"Listen, go to Dumbledore and tell him what's happened."  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"I've got to go after Snape."  
  
Sirius caught hold of James' arm. "No, James, you could be killed."  
  
"So could Snape! Now go to Dumbledore! In case," James swallowed. "In case something happens."  
  
"What if you get bitten?"  
  
James gave a ghost of a smile. "Then I'll be able to keep Moony company, won't I?"  
  
He sprinted out of the dormitory, and down the stairs. Within three minutes, he was by the lake. He could just make out a figure about his height near the Whomping Willow. Seconds later, the tree froze, and the figure disappeared. Panting for breath, with a stitch in his side, James ran to the tree, which was now moving again.  
  
Just keep going, he told himself. Think of how awful Remus would feel if he bit Snape.. After about thirty seconds, James found himself next to the Whomping Willow. He hadn't known he could run that fast. Picking up the long stick that Snape had obviously used to stop the tree. James used it now.  
  
The tree froze for the third time that evening. James slipped down under the tree. Everything was pitch black. He pulled out his wand.  
  
"Lumos."  
  
That was better. Now James could see somewhat, including a dark silhouette ahead of him.  
  
"Snape!" he shouted. "No! You can't go up there!"  
  
Snape turned. "And I suppose you can, Potter?"  
  
"No - you don't understand! You could be killed!" James was panicking. Remus could turn up at any moment, and both James and Snape could be killed. James wasn't particularly afraid of being bitten, but Remus would have to live with the knowledge that he had ruin his best friend's life.  
  
"And, of course, you won't be killed, Potter." Snape gave a short laugh. "Because you think you're invincible. Let me let you in on a little secret; you're not."  
  
"I know that. But if you don't come back now, we'll both be dead or worse before morning."  
  
James heard the faint sound of a wolf growling. He needed to get Snape out of there - fast.  
  
"Snape, look, I know we haven't exactly been friends over the years, but you have to trust me. I can't tell you what we're facing, but-"  
  
"AAARGGHH!" Snape screamed, pointing behind James. James turned.  
  
A wolf was standing right behind him. It was Remus, without a doubt - the eyes were the same shade of grey. But the wolf had taken over. There was no hope that Remus would recognise James now. How he had got into the tunnel, James had no idea - he had never gone there before.  
  
"SNAPE - RUN!" James hollered. He had to get Snape out of the tunnel, even if he couldn't save himself. "GO! I'LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU!"  
  
Snape didn't need telling twice. Throwing Remus a fearful glance, he turned, and ran. The wolf growled again. James felt his heart leap to his throat, and he said the first spell that came to his head.  
  
"Expelliarmus."  
  
The spell had absolutely no effect but to momentarily startle the wolf. This, however, gave James a moment to turn and sprint in the opposite direction. He could hear Remus running after him.  
  
Before James knew what was happening, the wolf had shot pass him. What? James thought if confusion. But then he knew. It was after Snape.  
  
"NO!" James cried, throwing himself on the back on the wolf. It growled and shook itself, trying to throw James off. It worked. James was forcefully shook off, and crashed into the wall behind him. He slumped to the floor. The last thing he saw was the wolf standing over him, baring its teeth, before everything went black.  
  
* * *  
  
"I need to go down there as soon as possible. One or both of the boys could be bitten at any moment. Or worse."  
  
Sirius sat in Dumbledore's office, unable to believe how calmly the Headmaster was taking it. Sirius himself was physically shaking. What he had done tonight might have cost James his life. Sirius was only sixteen. He didn't want to go to prison.  
  
"Sir, do you-" Sirius stopped and took a deep breath. "Do you think they will have been bitten?"  
  
Dumbledore looked grave. "It is a distinct possibility. If you will excuse me, I must go down to see."  
  
Dumbledore stood up, but had taken barely two steps towards the door before it burst open. It was Snape. He was panting and shaking, and his cheeks were flushed from running.  
  
"Sir, Lupin's a werewolf, sir! I saw him myself! And Black sent me down there knowing what he was! Sir, Black's a murderer! He tried to kill me!"  
  
"You will not breathe a word of this to anyone, Severus. The result will be both yourself and Sirius facing suspension from the school. However, we will discuss this later. Where is James?"  
  
An expression of immense dislike crossed Snape's features. "How am I supposed to know where that idiot Potter is? He came after me, told me to go back if I liked my life, and then that - that werewolf showed up behind him. I screamed, and Potter ordered me to run. Of course, I did. He didn't follow me out of the Whomping Willow. Probably stayed to act the hero and hold the werewolf off."  
  
"I fear the worst, then, I'm afraid," Dumbledore sighed. "And I would like to remind you, Severus, that James almost certainly saved your life."  
  
"Yes, sir. Sorry sir," Snape mumbled.  
  
Sirius almost smirked, but the thought of what had happened to James stopped him. Dumbledore turned back to Sirius.  
  
"We cannot go down there, Sirius."  
  
Sirius looked up at the headmaster in disbelief. "We have to! James could still be alive, and then if Remus shows up again.."  
  
Dumbledore shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, Sirius, but it would be putting our lives at risk. I cannot allow that. I also regret to tell you, Sirius, that it is highly unlikely that James is unharmed. He is, most likely, either dead or will have been bitten. When Remus transforms every month, the wolf takes over. He will not have recognised James. To him, James is just another human being. I'm so sorry, Sirius."  
  
"But there must be something we can do," Sirius spluttered desperately. "Something! Anything!"  
  
"I will not be able to go down there until the morning, Sirius. And never will you," Dumbledore added sharply. "There is nothing we can do until around seven o'clock tomorrow morning. By then Remus will have transformed again, and everything will be safe."  
  
Sirius nodded numbly, knowing the terrible truth of what would have happened. James had been bitten. And it was all Sirius' fault.  
  
* * *  
  
"You don't have to come down, Sirius. You don't know what might have happened last night." Dumbledore's voice was gentle as he spoke to the trembling teenager. "And Remus will not be at his best, I have to warn you."  
  
"He never is, poor child," Madam Promfrey put in.  
  
Sirius shook his head firmly. "No, Peter didn't want to come. But I do. This is all my fault anyway."  
  
Dumbledore sighed. "Very well, then. Let us proceed."  
  
He froze the tree and the three of them slid down the hole there. Sirius could feel his heart pounding painfully. Oh God, James, he thought, please don't be dead. I'll do anything.  
  
The three of them came across Remus first. The sixteen-year-old was lying facedown on the ground, breathing heavily. Madam Promfrey bent down and turned him over. He groaned and opened his eyes groggily.  
  
"How are you feeling, dear?" the nurse asked kindly, checking Remus' temperature. "Slightly warm as usual. But don't you worry, dear, we'll have you in the hospital wing in no time."  
  
"Remus," Dumbledore said softly, bending down next to the shaking boy, "do you remember biting anyone last night?"  
  
"I don't remember anything last night, sir," Remus said weakly. "I never do."  
  
Dumbledore sighed and stood up. "Very well. Remus, if you'd be so kind as to stay here for a few short moments.. we will not be long."  
  
Remus nodded wearily, and the other three stood up and continued down the tunnel. It was about three minutes before they found James. He was slumped against the wall, deathly pale and unconscious. There was blood staining his school shirt. Madam Promfrey let out a shocked gasp and crouched down next to him. She checked James' temperature, breathing and pulse, and then looked up worriedly at Sirius and Dumbledore.  
  
"It's not good," she said.  
  
Sirius felt the bottom fall out his stomach. It couldn't be true. He must have misheard. "Wh-what's happened?" he asked.  
  
"Well, he's not breathing, his pulse is weak and irregular, and his temperature's too high for my liking. Much higher than Remus'." Madam Promfrey took a deep breath. "Exactly as if he's been bitten. But I can't say without checking him over properly."  
  
Dumbledore heaved a sigh. "We will need to get both of them up to the hospital wing. I believe Mr. Pettigrew is waiting up there for us."  
  
* * *  
  
"Well, then, Poppy?"  
  
Sirius and Peter held their breath as Madam Promfrey straightened up to answer Dumbledore.  
  
"I don't think he's been bitten, Albus. However, it appears that he hit his head somewhere, and that's where all the blood came from. He is also very weak, and will need at least a week in bed, maybe more. I've finally got his breathing started again, which took a while, but I managed it in the end. He's still unconscious, though."  
  
Yes! There is a God after all! Sirius thought silently. Thank Merlin James hadn't been bitten. Remus would have felt so guilty, not to mention Sirius, and it would have ruined James' whole life.  
  
"How is Remus?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
"About the same as usual. He's woken up a bit now, and had a bit of food. He has no idea about this business with Mr. Potter and Mr. Snape. I think someone should explain it to him."  
  
"Sirius, I think it should be you," Dumbledore said, turning to look at Sirius. "I think he will take it better from you than anyone else."  
  
Sirius nodded. "Yes, sir."  
  
"As soon as possible, if you would. Preferably before James wakes up."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"Peter, I would like it very much if you went back to class. You, too, Sirius, as soon as you have spoken to Remus. Make it clear that no-one was hurt except for James, who will make a full recovery. Also make it clear that it wasn't his fault in any way."  
  
Sirius nodded again. "I will, sir."  
  
"Good. I will see all of you later, no doubt. Poppy, please send a house- elf to inform me of when James awakes. I would like to have a quiet word with him when he does."  
  
"Of course, Albus."  
  
"That is all."  
  
Dumbledore left, will Peter in tow. Nervously, Sirius made his way over to Remus' bed. His friend smiled as he did.  
  
You won't be smiling for long, Sirius thought guiltily.  
  
"Hi Sirius. I thought you had lessons? Where're James and Peter?" Remus peered closer at Sirius' face. "Uh-oh. Something's wrong, isn't it?"  
  
Sirius nodded.  
  
"Do I even want to know?"  
  
"I have to tell you. Dumbledore said."  
  
"Dumbledore said? Wow, this is bad."  
  
"No seriously." Sirius cleared his throat. "Well, you know Snape's always trying to find out where we go every month? Well, I knew James needed cheering up, and Snape had just seen you and Promfrey cross the grounds together. So I told him that if he pressed the knot on the Whomping Willow, then he'd find out."  
  
"Sirius, that was so dangerous." Remus' face had gone pale.  
  
"Bear in mind that I only did it because I thought that James would find Snape running around in the dark funny. It was just a joke. But when I told James, his reaction was similar to yours, only worse. He told me to go straight to Dumbledore. James said he'd go after Snape, and try and pull him back. Which is exactly what he did. But just as Dumbledore was about to go looking for them, Snape burst into the room. And - oh, Remus, I'm so sorry - he said he'd seen you. And he knew what you were. Dumbledore asked him where James was. Snape said he was still in the tunnel, trying to fight you off."  
  
Remus' face had lost what little colour it had left. "Where's James now?"  
  
"He's still unconscious. We found him there this morning. There was blood everywhere."  
  
Remus put his hands up to his face, and tried, unsuccessfully, to muffle a sob. "I bit him, didn't I? That's why Dumbledore asked about it earlier."  
  
Sirius put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "No, Moony, you didn't. He'll be fine, but he hasn't woken up yet. He hit his head in the tunnel, apparently, and that's where all the blood came from. Promfrey says he's still weak, and he'll need a week in bed, but he'll be alright."  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
"Positive." Sirius smiled.  
  
* * *  
  
Two days later the four people involved - Sirius, Remus, James and Snape - were crowded into the hospital wing to 'have a long chat' with Dumbledore. It would, in normal circumstances, have been in Dumbledore's office, but with both James and Remus confined to bed, that was somewhere near impossible. So Remus had been allowed to sit up in a chair, wrapped in a blanket, with Sirius, Snape and Dumbledore around James' bed. James himself was propped up against a mountain of pillows, still looking deathly pale, but smiling weakly at his friends to reassure them that he was fine.  
  
"First of all, I have heard all sides of the story, and it all makes sense together, so I do not need to hear the story now," Dumbledore said. "Sirius has undoubtedly been foolish, and I trust he will not be so in the future. Fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor, and he will receive detention for the rest of the week."  
  
"That's it? He tried to murder me!" Snape shouted in disbelief. " And all he gets is a detention and loses a couple of house points?"  
  
"Calm down, Severus, otherwise Madam Promfrey will insist that we should leave and let Remus and James have some rest. Sirius has received enough punishment from his guilty mind, knowing that he could have led his best friend to his death. James, you saved Severus' life. You will receive sixty points for Gryffindor, and an award for special services to the school. And you must understand that none of this was your fault, Remus. Even if you had bitten either James or Severus, then it would not have been your fault. And none of you will breathe a word of what has happened to anybody. Severus, if anybody else gets to hear of it, I will personally ensure that you are suspended from the school, and a memory charm placed on whoever you have told, including yourself. Is that clear?"  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"Good. Now, James, how are you feeling?"  
  
"Alright, sir," James replied, shrugging. "Madam Promfrey says I'll probably be back in school by the end of next week."  
  
"I'm glad to hear it. The sixth year Gryffindor class is rather small and quiet without you and Remus there. There is only Lily Evans, Katherine Greenfield, Daisy Clark, Sirius and Peter. If I remember correctly, your class was always a rather small one, compared to the other houses."  
  
James laughed softly. "A class with Sirius in it - quiet? Are you joking?"  
  
Sirius punched his best friend lightly on the arm. "Trust me, it'll be much louder when all the Marauders are back."  
  
"Very well, then, I will leave you. Madam Promfrey, I trust, will be wanting to get Remus back to bed, and Sirius and Severus need to get back to class."  
  
The two boys stood up from their seats. Severus left. Sirius flashed James and Remus a slight smile. James and Remus grinned back.  
  
"I'll see two at lunch," Sirius said. "Maybe I'll be able to drag Peter away from his food - what do you think?"  
  
"It's unlikely, but it'll be funny to see you trying." Remus laughed.  
  
"Can you get Lily to come up here at some point, Sirius?"  
  
"What am I supposed to tell her? She's been asking where you are. How am I going to keep the truth from her? She's your girlfriend, not mine."  
  
"Doe she know I was out of the hospital wing on Thursday?" asked James.  
  
"No.."  
  
"So tell her Promfrey decided to keep me in here for a bit longer, because of... er, because she thought I had concussion."  
  
"Fine. Is that what I should tell the rest of our class as well?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I'd better go and tell them, then." Sirius left the hospital wing, still thinking about their conversation. Both James and Remus didn't seemed to have blamed him in the least, even though it had been.  
  
Everything that went wrong nearly always was Sirius' fault. And this.. if James had been bitten, or even killed (never mind what happened to Snape - Sirius didn't particularly care about him), then Sirius would have never forgiven himself. He would have been expelled from Hogwarts, his friends would never have spoken to him again, and James would be dead or worse.  
  
And it would have been all Sirius' fault.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: So? What do you think? This is how I think that night happened, and my imagination probably differs from yours, but, hey! There's not much Peter in it for two reasons: 1) He wasn't involved in it anyway, and 2) I really hate him, and would probably end up accidentally on purpose killing him. Please review! I'll love you all! And please check out my other stories! 


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